Draw Me Your Tree

Lolita -

2005-12-09T00:11:00.000-05:00

Memorized the first chapter by heart.

A distorted story told in the most beautiful way possible... English as a second language.

Where I've been and will be

2005-11-28T23:03:00.000-05:00

Visited Canadian Provinces

Visited US States

Visited Countries

Visited Countries by 2025 (I hope...)

Missing My Peppers

2005-11-06T23:25:00.000-05:00

I took this picture on August 21. As you can see, I didn't have to buy any peppers all summer long. Sadly, I don't have any more peppers left to be picked, and the peppers I bought two days ago at Sobeys taste like rubber compare to these ones.

The wind is blowing like crazy out in my balcony today. There is a wind-warning in effect now, and it's gonna blow 100km/hr tonight. I went out to the balcony and picked all the remaining leaves to cook in sesame oil. Umm, yummy! Pepper leaves are full of oxalic acid that could trigger kidney stones or gout when cooked. But, who cares! I just had two bags of cooked spinaches last week any way, which is even worse.

Oh, I can't wait till next spring to start planting again. I should have become a farmer.

30min. Fruit Pie

2005-10-01T21:43:00.000-05:00

Speedy Pat-In Pastry (nine-inch pie)

Flour; 1 – 1 ½ Cups depending on the desired thickness of the crust
Oil; (Flour: Oil = 3:1) Corn oil works the best. I tried to use other vegetable oils, but didn’t smell good. If you are not too concerned about health, use half butter and half lard mix instead of corn oil.
Sugar; 1-1 ½ Tbsp.
Salt; to taste
Cold Milk; 2-3 Tbsp.

Sift flour, sugar and salt directly into a 9-inch pie plate. Combine oil and milk in a cup and beat with a fork until well blended. Pour all at once over dry ingredients and mix with a fork until they’re completely dampened.
Push dough with fingers to line bottom and sides of plate. Flute edges and keep in the fridge while fruit filling is prepared. If you’re baking shell to fill later, prick entire surface of pastry with a fork and bake in a 425F oven 10-15 minutes, but watch it.

Fruit Pie

* I like it with fresh apricots or/and fresh prunes.

1.

1)
About 4 cups of fruits for a 9-inch deep shell (1 cup more if you’re using sliced fruits, like apples, peaches, or pears). Then depending on type, ¾ to 1 cup of sugar combined with 2-4 Tbsp. of flour and 2 tbsp of soft butter and mixed into fruits should give you a very good pie. Fill pastry with fruits, and then top with crumbs if you wish (1/2 cup each flour, and sugar, ¼ cup butter).

Or,

2)
5 Cups Peeled Fruits
1 Nine-inch Unbaked Pie Shell
1/4 Cup Flour
1/4 - 2/3 Cup Sugar
3/4 Cup Sour Cream
1 Tbsp. Brown Sugar
1 tsp. Butter

Arrange and fill fruits in pie shell. Combine flour, sugar and sour cream and pour over fruits, pushing into empty spaces between fruits and covering the top. Leave a one-inch hole at the centre.

2.

Bake at 400-425F, depending on your oven, until golden brown. (30-40 minutes) Mix the remaining sugar and butter and brush the top. Let it cool to room temperature, and then serve. (For a better result, take the pie out of oven when slightly golden, brush the sugar butter, return to oven, and bake until golden brown, 5 - 7 min.)

무식이

2005-09-27T00:24:00.000-05:00

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무식한 놈

그래, 아직 더 견딜 수 있어
배짱이가 뭐, 달리 배짱이인가
이국에서의 열번 째 구월
여름은 이제 한 풀 꺾여
볕에 그을고 녹슬은 어깨
삐거덕 소리내지만
아직 가을이야 어리고 푸르니

버티어 보자.

꼬깃꼬깃 푼돈 꺼내
가진 것 이것뿐이네요, 하고
구걸하는 이에게 인심도 쓰는데
아직도 뭔가 이룰 게 있어, 라고
스스로에게 적선해가며
한 번 더 으스대 보자.
뿌리 없이도 튼튼히
두 발만으로 땅 밟고 어엿이
넓게 굳게 서 보겠다던
헤지고 묵은 자신감들 다
끄집어 내 보자.

십년이면 강산도 변해요,
어쩌면 이야기들 하겠지
불혹에 어찌 그리 애를 쓰시나,
라고도 하겠지

그래도 뻔뻔스래
제가 원래 좀 무식해서요,
솔직히 털어 놓고
다시, 배짱 펴 보자.
.

Insomnia

2005-09-22T03:50:00.000-05:00

I’m going crazy. I can’t sleep. I’ve always been a night owl all my life, but usually I try to go to bed before 2:00am. For last few days, it’s been getting worse. I’ve been up until 6:00am, in and out of the bed trying to sleep. It’s well after 4:30am now, and I’m wide-awake.

가을 저녁

2005-09-19T02:51:00.000-05:00

.
달을 통째 삼키려다 목에 걸려
벙어리가 되었다고

둥그런 건 죄 다 삼켜버릴
그런 작정이었다고

그러다보면 언젠가
멍들고 긁히어 퉁그러진 가슴 바닥도
둥글게 이쁘게 아물 수 있으려나
뭐, 그런 생각이었노라고

애써 그림 그려 설명하며
오히려 나를 달래곤

그래도 어질게 살아야지 않냐며
하얗게 이 보여 웃는 네 뒤로
어느새 기다랗게 드리운
저 달 그림자
.

Full Moon

2005-09-18T22:52:00.000-05:00

Good Morning!

2005-07-31T14:39:00.000-05:00

.
“Did I wake you up?”
“Ye, kind of…”
“That’s exactly what M said when I called him. Do you wanna come for the breakfast?”
“Okay, when? Are you going to pick me up?”
“I’m almost there. I’ll be at yours in seven or eight minutes.”
“Uh… Seven minutes!?”
“Hurry up!”

-Ten minutes later-

“I’m outside your building, waiting patiently.”
“Ye, I’m about to get out.”
“I’m waiting. I’m waiting…”
“I'm just about to put on the shoes.”
“You don’t need shoe-----s for breakfast.”
“Oh, ye-----s, I do.”

- Two minutes later -

“Good morning!”
“Good morning!”

- Five minutes later in the restaurant –

We fight for the restaurant complimentary book, Alice Munro’s ‘Open Secret’. We both know that neither of us will really read this book, but I tuck it under my arm and show off the winner’s smile to N. He gives up and looks around for the newspaper. The paper goes to him. We flip through what we have in front of us while coffee is being served. There isn’t much to read in the paper, and we start to talk about the religions and politics of these days since that is what we were talking about two days ago. Be it politics, religions, sexes, money, or whatever, we often have different opinions about almost any subject. But, I don’t mind knowing what other people have in their minds. As we resume the talk, M walks into the restaurant. Three of us order the overly portioned all-day breakfast and the coffee mugs are refilled. The waitress is friendly, probably in her mid 40’s. “She got a nice body, but she won’t sleep with me.” “She must have been very pretty fifteen years ago.” “Oh, she still got a nice bum!” Little bit of harmless mischief, then we all go back to our topic. Being careful to pronounce the word ‘blog’ (people tell me when I say ‘blog’, it sounds more like ‘block’), I tell them about the new blogs I recently discovered and how the Internet is changing the way people get the news. Thus we change the topic to the Internet…

Now, our breakfast is coming. N doesn’t eat home fries (he thinks there’s too much fat in it), so half of his fries goes to M and the other half comes to me, and M’s plate is missing his bacon because the waitress forgot to give it to him. Let me see. My plate really is full. I got three eggs sunny side up, four large pieces of pea meal bacon, two thick slices of toasted bread with butter and strawberry jam, one and a half portions of home fries and a portion of fruits. I do my best to finish it, and finish it all. Another beautiful day is starting with a beautiful meal and beautiful friends.

Jim’s Korea

2005-07-29T18:34:00.000-05:00

I was looking for artist blogs in the Blog Search Engine when I stumbled into this site called ‘Jim's Korea' that was listed under the art blogs. The host of this blog, obviously Jim, has an excellent sense of humour, and the cartoons have a lot of truth in them. If you’ve ever been to Korea, you will agree with me when you visit this site, and you will know why I was giggling in the middle of the night.

Warning! If you are a homesick ex-patriot of Korea, be prepared to have a few very, very late nights: Jim’s Korea has links to a few highly addictive blogs for ex-pats of Korea. I’ve been opening one blog a day like taking multi-vitamins.

쏟아질 줄 모르는 우리

2005-07-24T16:14:00.000-05:00

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숨소리만 귀에 서성이는
일요일 오후 더위 꼭대기
당신은 말이 없고 이름도 없고
응어리져 아픈 당신의 속은 내 탓이었을까
억지로 누르고 다듬어 온 머릿속
여름 풀처럼 추측은 솟는데
입 다물고 듣는 당신때문에
나는 말을 잃고
용기도 잃고

비가 내려준다면,
천둥 번개 우르릉 쾅쾅
살아있는 모든 외로운 동물들 두들겨 깨우듯
후두둑 적시며 쏟아져만 준다면
그 천둥따라 우렁차게 당신이
말을 할 것 같은데
그 번개따라 환하게 당신이
웃음을 웃을 것도 같은데
어쩌면 그렇게 비따라 우리가
서로에게 커다랗게 쏟아져
노래를 부를 수도 있을 것만 같은데

삼십사도 조용한 저 하늘은
아직도 푸르기만하고
뜨겁기만하고
먼저 쏟아질 줄 모르는 우리는
웅크린 채 가슴만 말리고
기다리기만하고.
.

kooB tcaF ehT

2005-07-23T22:36:00.000-05:00

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For most information, the CIA fact book seems to be more updated and year specific. But how reliable is it? I’m not sure when it says there is any real GDP growth in North Korea and zero migration in Iraq.

Republic of Indonesia

CIA Fact Book - Inflation rate: 6.1%, GDP Per capita: US$3,500, Annual real growth: 4.9%
Lonely Planet Guide - Inflation rate:11.9%, GDP Per capita: US$807, Annual growth: -4%

Arab Republic of Egypt

CIA Fact Book - Inflation rate: 9.5%
Lonely Planet Guide - Inflation rate: 3%

Grand Duchy of Luxembourg (Luxemburg, Letzeburg)

CIA Fact Book - Religion: 87% Roman Catholic, GDP Per capita: US$58,900
Lonely Planet Guide - Religion: 97% Roman Catholic

Republic of Iraq

CIA Fact Book - Inflation Rate: 25.4%, GDP Per capita: US$3,500, Migration: 0 migrant, Sex ratio(15-64): 1.03 male(s) / female
Lonely Planet Guide - GDP Per capita: US$7,000

Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (North Korea)

CIA Fact Book - GDP real growth: 1%
Lonely Planet Guide - Annual growth rate: -5%, GDP Per capita: US$1,390

Nice start for the weekend

2005-07-23T16:51:00.000-05:00

I was just starting to read the book ‘Web Design & Desktop Publishing for Dummies’ when this lady, probably in her late 70’s, approached me. I suppose the dummy book in front of me gave her an incorrect impression that I was a smarty. She asked me if I would be kind enough to show her how to use the Internet.

Once, I tried to teach the Internet to an old friend of mine who had never sat in front of a computer before: just moving around the mouse and opening links was a big challenge for him, so he would end up in a wrong site without knowing why he was there. Now, I’m sitting next to this lady, wondering where to start. Anyhow, to my relief, she already knew all the basic stuff to play around the Internet. So, I just showed her a few tricks like how to use different search engines and how to use the key board instead of struggling with the mouse, and so on. She had only an hour of the computer time reserved at the library and the time was quickly over. But, she was so happy and excited about her newly added skills and asked me to have tea with her.

We went to the small bakery café beside the library. There were not many people in there and we sat near the window. At the beginning, there was some awkwardness in the air because we hardly knew each other, but it didn’t take too long to break the silence and start to talk. We talked for quite some time about our personal lives, which was unusually in detail! Sometimes total strangers do you magic, leading you to an open conversation. Plus, there are always so many things one can learn from the elderly. She even drew a tree for me. Normally, I have to know the person pretty well to make such a request, but somehow I felt so comfortable with her as to ask her to draw. Her tree drawing was impressive! It was, indeed, very unique! But, despite my praising words, she wasn’t sure if the drawing was any good and she felt shy to let me keep it. Well, then, I gave it back to her. I kept it in my head anyway.

I couldn’t stay with her as long as I wished because I was expecting a call from a friend at home. I’m sure I will be seeing her again; perhaps there will be another happy Saturday brunch.

Meatloaf Recipe

2005-07-16T23:17:00.000-05:00

The best meatloaf recipe only next to your mom’s.
Everybody loves it!

Ingredients
-------- ------------ --------------------------------
1 lb Extra Lean Ground Beef
1 Cup Salsa
1 Cup Breadcrumbs
1 ½ Onions - medium, chopped fine
1 Tb. Dijon Mustard
1 Bunch Cilantro - chopped
Salt and coarse pepper to taste
2 Eggs - beaten
3 Garlic cloves - crushed
5 Bacon

Saute chopped garlic and onions.
Combine meat, breadcrumbs, salsa, fried garlic & onions, salt, pepper, cilantro and beaten eggs in large bowl. Mix well.
Shape into loaf and brush mustard on top and cover with bacon strips.
Put into greased baking pan.
Bake 30 minutes at 375F.
Serve with your favourite sauce.
Enjoy!

According to Pinchas

2005-07-13T16:03:00.000-05:00

It is steamy hot outside. I’m listening to this incredible performance, Pinchas Zukerman playing Elgar’s violin concerto. Oh, No! Not now! My building fire alarm goes off right in the middle of the cadenza. Sorry, neighbours, I know not all of you ran out of the building, I turned the volume way up high and stayed in.

This is a series of program produced by the CBC, called ‘According to Pinchas’. http://www.cbc.ca/concertos/programs.html You have interest in classical music? You will enjoy this program. You are not interested in classical music? You will enjoy it even more, and you will thank me for recommending it and will want more programs like this, as it guides you through many aspects of the violin concertos and not only help you understand the music, but also let you take it into your heart and feel it. I know it, because I am a novice music lover myself. The last comment Pinchas Zukerman made at the end of the program today was about being a fiddle player; “It’s an experience I recommend highly.”

Highly recommended!

http://www.cbc.ca/location/selectLocationByCountry.jsp?destination=%2Fprogramguide%2Ffrequency%2Findex.jsp%3Fnull&hierarchyType=broadcast

Rescued by a friend, a sister, a dog, and a funny car.

2005-06-27T22:50:00.000-05:00

I’ve been feeling down for last few days. Tried some Mozart, Lalo, and Saint-Saëns loudly, but didn’t work. Yesterday, my friend B came to rescue me with his ever-friendly dog, and patiently paid attention to my tedious complaints. By the evening, I was half rescued from my depression spell by friendship and a dog.

The second rescuer came from my family: my sister came to see me. It was the first time she drove up to Toronto from the States, because until her last visit she always had a friend with her and because she is not a very good driver, it was always the friend who drove. Also, because I seldom go down to the States, yesterday was the first time I saw her car. What a car! It is not fancy or in a good shape, yet, this car has a character!

This is an old Nissan she bought not long ago from her electronic gazette enthusiast friend. This car is like a ninety-year-old man with a palm pilot. It is so old, you really have to follow the safe driving rules ABC, stopping every two hours when you drive to let the engine cool down. But, what makes this car so unique is; The car key is not to open or lock the car door, but only to ignite the engine: you punch-in a password at the door to open and lock the door. It has a wonderful stereo system, which is a must to enjoy good music. It is equipped with automatic seat belts at the two front seats: they move away from the seats as you open the door, and get fastened automatically as you start the engine, excellent for people with bad memory and thin pockets: you could save some money by getting fewer tickets. And, the last and the most interesting feature of this car is that it has two side-mirrors securely attached. They are.............one light beige and the other dark brown. Well, I couldn’t stop laughing. For my sister's next birthday I would love to get a GPS device for her and her car.

Miracle Gro vs. Hortibec

2005-06-25T14:28:00.000-05:00

Two of my coffee plants have been turning pale recently. I cannot blame the hot weather or anything else, but the potting mix, because I have two more coffee plants, which are planted in a different potting mix and these are doing very well.

When I started my indoor garden early this spring, late winter actually, I used four different brand name potting mixes: Miracle Gro: $8.49/17.6 L, Hortibec: $4.60/30 L, CIL, and Garden Club.

Garden Club mix is not pasteurized. It is full of weed seeds and insect eggs. The soil is too heavy, you can actually see large chunks of clay with your eyes. You will have to mix it with generous amount of Perlite in order to lighten it and prevent water lock. It’s the most economical potting mix among the four brands I’ve tried if forget about the Perlite, which is not cheap at all.

I started sweet peppers in CIL potting mix. Believe me, it was smelly! Every time I water the plants, it would smell like somebody just used the toilet and didn’t flush it. But, CIL is wonderful if you use it outdoors especially for fruits and veges. Now, my peppers are out in my balcony doing beautifully. I will not have to buy any peppers this summer.

Miracle Gro worked the miracle only for one and a half months. Plants in this mix did grow about 20% faster than others while the pre-mixed fertilizer was working. But, that’s it! The soil doesn’t keep up as well as others, and starts to make you feel like that you have to fertilize it as the instruction says. I’m going to have to get some compost and amend the soil. This is the potting mix I used for those two coffee plants that are not doing well now.

Hortibec is more reasonably priced than CIL or Miracle Gro, and certainly has better quality than Miracle Gro or Garden Club. And it doesn't smell badly. My two other coffee plants that are doing well now are planted in this potting mix; they have luscious foliage and strong stems. This is definitely the one I will be buying more next year. It is also organic!

You can get the list of organic potting mix products from Sustainable the Agriculture Information Service website: http://attra.ncat.org/soils.html

Being a Korean language instructor

2005-06-18T22:17:00.000-05:00

Like any other jobs, there are pros and cons.

Cons:

The amount of work –Not having a reliable textbook promises me enormous amount of work. For example, two years ago when I was hired for this position, I spent a full day to prepare for the first class: I mean working intensively from 9:00 or 10:00 am until 4:00 or 5:00am the next day. I’m doing better now, taking only four hours of work for each class in average.

Frustration – The word ‘student’ means ‘a person who studies’ whether you are 20yrs old or 50yrs old. Please learn to read! When I was learning to speak English, it never occurred to my mind to speak the language without reading and writing. When you read, everything makes so much sense. Please interact with me! Preparing for the class is not much different from writing a play: lots of body language, mimicking, and exaggeration… the class goes by the plot to reach the next stage. If the students don’t interact with me, I get totally exhausted.

Lack of communication – If you know the basic of the language, you don’t need these expensive classes. I’ve only taught ‘real beginners’, and the school policy is to communicate in the target language only during the class. Unfortunately, it is close to impossible to have any mature conversation with somebody you meet for many months, who has so little vocabulary. Many thoughts, opinions and true-selves are lost in “This is a pen”.

My faults – I am more enthusiastic about the class than the students are: I give more than what they want and that could be uncomfortable for them. And, I forget to give a break time when there is supposed to be one, and I don’t finish the class on time. I know, I’m too much, but I can’t help.

The Last class – It is heartbreaking. I say, “Keep in touch!” They say, “Good-bye!” When they say it, they actually mean “Bye-for-good!!”

Pros:

Teaching myself & Learning from students – The lack of reliable textbook forces me to look at the language objectively and analyze it. I love challenging questions and demands. Every class brings me new realization in the language, and it is a unique way of teaching myself. There is no single class, from which I don’t learn something.

I get to choose – I have the liberty to choose whether I teach or not, depending on my personal schedule. Considering the amount of preparation time this job requires, honestly, I cannot handle too many classes. I want to keep it as a part-time job without having my life taken over by it. I always ask the students, at the first class, why they want to learn, and if anybody comes for a wrong reason, I’m sorry, it’s not worth my time to teach.

The people - There was a girl with a Korean background who wanted to be able to speak to her aging grandma who couldn’t speak a word of English. She could have easily learned the language from her family members, but came to the class to discipline herself. And, there was a guy coming all the way from Waterloo after work. Despite the distance, he didn’t miss a class, and he had the greatest enthusiasm for the language learning and optimism towards life. It was such a delightful experience to have these people in my class. They make me smile.

Fulfillment – Learning the language is the first step you take to understand another country and the culture. Ask any Korean friend, “What is the thing Koreans are most proud of?”, they will likely tell you that it is the language. While teaching the Korean language, I act as if I’m the cultural ambassador for Korea. It's not just me, any foreign language instructors will tell you how proud they are to take this role for their own countries.

Today was one of those last class days. When the class was over, the student drew a tree, which is really beautiful, and gave it to me. I am grateful that I had another wonderful person learning from me and teaching me for last three months that let me through my spring with extra shine.

Long waiting period cured me from a thyroid disease?

2005-06-08T21:44:00.000-05:00

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February - I had been having this funny feeling in my throat since late January. It was like having a foreign object in the throat all the time. There was no pain and I didn’t have any swallowing problem. My GP said jokingly, “Maybe, you have a heartburn.” I laughed, and he asked me to have an ultrasound done.

March - My next appointment, doctor told me that my ultrasound showed a cold nodule in the left lobe of my thyroid. He looked somewhat cautious to say the word 'nodule’<http://www.endocrineweb.com/thyroidca.html>, and he repeated the word again, looking around my face, to see if I understood what it meant. Ye, I know most thyroid nodules are benign, and even if it is cancerous, thyroid cancer is almost always curable: I had a hyperthyroidism a couple of years back, so I knew well about thyroid diseases next to doctors.

April 13 – My endocrinologist, who didn’t think of seeing me again, greeted me with a smile and friendly words. After a few questions and poking around my neck here and there, she told me not to worry and asked me to have ‘ultrasound-guided fine-needle biopsy’ to rule out thyroid cancer, and then come back on May 11. However, when I went over to the diagnosis clinic in the hospital, I was told that the clinic was so booked up, the first available day for the test was May 25th (I’m not talking about MRI or surgery), and it was going to take two weeks to get the result after the test. Having not much choice, I made an appointment for the biopsy for May 25th, and made an appointment to see my endocrinologist on June 8.

May 25 – St. Michael’s hospital – Arrived at 8:45 am. The technician took me to the ultrasound room at 10:30am. She put the slippery gel on my neck, moved the probe around for a while, looked a bit puzzled, and said to me that she couldn’t find the nodule, which was supposed to be there. She went out, brought in a radiologist with her who checked my neck again, and he said the same thing to me, “You don’t have a nodule.” I wasn’t very surprised, because the symptoms I was having, which irritated me and made me clear my throat every thirty-minutes or so, had gone away by middle of May. No nodule, no biopsy.

Today – My endocrinologist confirmed with me that I would not need any further diagnostic test or treatment for the ‘not there anymore’ condition. It was good to say good-bye to her. I hope if I see her again, it will be somewhere else, not in the hospital.

Actually, I didn’t worry much about this whole thing from the beginning for three reasons: first, the possibility of my having a thyroid cancer was remote. Even if I had the cancer, the worst thing could happen to me would be living with a scar in front of my neck. Secondly, my needless attempts of drawing, in my head, myself with a scar failed, so I gave up worrying. And, the last reason is that I like happy endings. But, you all know not everybody’s story has the same happy ending as mine when there are such long waiting periods for most medical tests and treatments.

Victoria Day

2005-05-24T22:42:00.000-05:00

A couple of weeks ago, I suddenly got one year older due to my miscalculation. Today, I became one more year old without miscalculation.

Stoned To Death

2005-05-18T22:54:00.000-05:00

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그가 주머니에 손을 넣었다.
며칠 전 퇴근길에 주운 뒤
집에서 이곳 저곳
매끄럽게 다듬은 차돌 하나
손에 들어 왔다.

그래, 이 정도면 됐어
잘 만들었다고 할거야
언제까지 기다릴까
어떻게 건낼까

그녀가 내게 뭐라고 할까……

손에 잡고 만지작 만지작
그새 어디 흠이라도 생겼으려나
다시 확인을 했다.

그녀가 시계를 본다
걸상에서 일어선다
이제 그만 가려 한다
잘 가라 인사하려 하는 그녀를
그가 불러 세웠다

“저… 행복하십니까?”

그녀의 심장이 돌 맞은듯 멎었다.
.

I am older than I thought I was

2005-05-14T22:13:00.000-05:00

April 7th in lunar calendar - Father’s 80th birthday! Like anywhere else, every 10th birthday from the 60th birthday is a big party day for Koreans. Usually a banquet hall is reserved and various kinds of traditional food is on the table. The members of the host family dress up in the traditional costume, and exchange bows, laughs and good wishes with the guests. The more guests come to the party, the happier the day becomes: an all day of celebration: This is the typical happy picture we get when we think about the day.

None of these things happened to my father today. Instead of going to Korea, my sister was in New Jersey, taking her school exam, and I was here in Toronto. Why didn’t I go? I am ashamed to tell you why. I had become too ignorant about Korean culture, I forgot how to calculate people’s age in Korean way, and my brothers didn’t tell me about father’s birthday until a week ago because they didn’t want to give me too much pressure. I thought my father would turn 80 years old next year, so I was planning to go see him next year. Until a week ago, I miscalculated even my own age. Of course, I thought I was one year younger than I really was. It feels awful to be one year older this way!

I hurried to find out if there was any immediate flight available going to Korea and how much it would cost. The worst possible scenario for me was going to Korea just for a day or two and coming back to Toronto because of my part-time work schedule. I was about to call Sheila, my supervisor, to see if I could take a week off. However, my sister told me that it was impossible for her to change her exam schedule. So, even if I went to Korea, we were still going to miss one of us. Father didn’t feel like having a party without all of us, and it was going to be unfair of my sister and I to burden my brothers with all the work only to hold a not-complete party. Talking about the culture, having this kind of event without all of the immediate family members, could actually be an embarrassment for the family. Thus, Whole plan got called off. We all agreed to have a party for father next year. Having an 80th birthday party when he, in fact, is 81 years old wouldn’t be too bad. And, next spring, I will definitely go to Korea to be with him. Happy birthday dad!

* This is how you age in Korean way: As soon as you are born, you are one year old, and every January 1st you become one year older. Let’s say that a baby is born in December 30, 2004. By January 1st, 2005, he/she is already 2 years old. One more thing to know: some Koreans (my father, for example) follow the lunar calendar<http://choisworld.com/calendar/calendar.html>, while others (like myself) follow the solar calendar.

마음 밝은 당신은

2005-05-07T22:37:00.000-05:00

.
붉어지라고,
이제는 내 가슴에 빨간 꽃을
심어도 된다고
부끄러워 등 뒤로 숨는 이 손을
내밀어도 된다고

그렇게, 시간의 아픈 눈을
지우며 멀리며
선인장도 기꺼이 끌어안겠다고 당신은
저에게로 오십니다.
.

Emil Gilels

2005-05-05T20:33:00.000-05:00

Does anyone know where I can buy Beethoven played by Emil Gilels with the USSR symphony orchestra? I’ve placed a rain check at the HMV in Toronto in February, but haven’t heard a word from the store yet. Amazon and other online stores have some Gilels’ records, but not the one I want. Normally, I don’t like live concert records because of the noise the audience make during and after the concerts, however, this pianist does his utmost at live, and I am determined to get it.

*Emil Gilels, piano; State Symphony Orchestra of the USSR/Kurt Masur. (6 CDs): Ludwig Van Beethoven Piano Concertos Nos. 1 - 5; Piano Sonatas Op.26, Op.31/1, Op.106, Op.10/3, Op.79, Op.81a, Op.90, Op.13, Op.27/2, & Op.57.

Ruby moon

2005-05-04T21:09:00.000-05:00

My ‘Ruby moon’ got the first flower today. The fragrance is not particularly attractive, however, the shape of the petals is almost like small orchids. It makes me smile. You can even cook with the beans!

Ful Nabed

Serving Size : 6

1 c Chopped onion, 2 Garlic cloves - pressed, 1/4 c Olive oil, 1 tsp Ground cumin seeds, 1 1/2 tsp Sweet Hungarian paprika, 1/4 ts Cayenne, 2 Bay leaves, 2 Large carrots - chopped, 1 c Chopped fresh tomatoes, 3 1/2 c Vegetable stock,
2 c Canned or cooked fava beans, 1/4 c Chopped fresh parsley, 3 Tbs Fresh lemon juice, Salt and fresh ground Black pepper to taste, Fresh mint leaves (optional),

In a large soup pot saute the onions and garlic in the olive oil until the onions are translucent. Add the cumin, paprika, cayenne, bay leaves, and carrots and cook on medium heat for 5 minutes. Stir in the chopped tomatoes and vegetable stock and simmer until the carrots are tender, about 15 minutes. Finally, add the cooked fava beans and the parsley and lemon juice. Add salt and pepper to taste. Ful Nabed can be served with Pita Bread and garnished with fresh mint leaves.
Source: Sundays at Moosewood Restaurant Typed by Dale & Gail Shipp, Columbia Md. - from recipesource.com-

“Nobdy / Nobody”

2005-04-26T22:59:00.000-05:00

It was “Nobdy / Nobody” who took Odysseus out from the island of Cyclops, son of Poseidon.
I sure will sleep better tonight. After three and a half months, the fight between my former employer and I is over.

Jan. 5, 2005
“...If you feel the need to go to the labour board then do so (you obviously already have like myself.) If this is your position I will suspend any money coming to you and let the labour board resolve this matter. Trust me when I say that we go by the books in every way, shape and form… Do not turn this in to a difficult situation and if you chose to I will continue to seek legal council...”
- Chris

I went up to Newmarket this morning to attend a fact-finding hearing at the Ministry of Labour. The former boss of mine didn’t show up. How disappointing! I was looking forward to facing him and listening to what he had to say. Instead, he sent the accountant, who had no opinion of his own or knowledge of the Employment Standards Act<http://www.e-laws.gov.on.ca/DBLaws/Statutes/English/00e41_e.htm>, which I memorized every important line by heart. He did try a couple of schemes on behalf of his boss though: he tried to take my Christmas bonus away, claiming that I didn’t deserve it anymore, which was ridiculous, and he didn’t calculate my unpaid overtime payment accurately. Other than that, he admitted to all counts of the ESA violation: imposing a probation period of three months that is no longer allowed by the Act, imposing overtime work without written agreement, failure to pay for overtime, and failure to pay for public holidays… Further, because my case is proved today, the company now has to pay not only me, but also every employee of the company up to one year in retrospect. I suppose it isn’t all that bad to be nasty when necessary.

I wonder why Chris refused to correct things earlier when he could have. Had he fixed the problem without having to go to the ministry, things would have been much easier and simpler for him, and I would have saved my time. Did he really think his lawyer could save him out of this? Or, perhaps, Norm was right: (some) men do not respond well when their pride is at stake. He might have been really proud of his business achievement, no matter how he got there, and might have been in a denial that there was anything wrong. Is that possible?

I must confess. Little after this labour dispute started, it became obvious to me that he was not going to agree to meet my demands for change, and I thought that I had to keep fighting for the sake of the rest of the company employees to prevent any further abuse of power. I cried for days. I spent many more days studying, and I was extremely lonely to fight alone against a corporate that was backed by a few more companies run by his in-laws. In the end, things turned out to be the way it should be, and only now, after things are resolved, I see more clearly what was really going on inside my mind all along: I didn’t fight for others. I fought for my own sake. I wanted to be right. I wanted to feel good. I wanted to be able to say to myself, “Look, I did something good for the silent and powerless.” And, the fact is that I do not like having my ego put down by anybody, not much different from Chris. I do not like losing. And, yes, I am stubborn. I didn’t even have to feel that lonely at all during the time. Friends were there to be with me and encourage me. They wanted to be helpful in whatever way I wanted. Thank you. I truly appreciate your friendship. I am very fortunate.

Cheers Linda!

2005-03-23T16:07:00.000-05:00

There were about forty of us, the regular and mostly artist members of the gallery, seating behind the board members for the gallery annual meeting. Simple, yet important, matters were given in not-so-straight language. Cheers, Linda! You’ve been doing a great job!

Indoor orchard

2005-03-15T22:02:00.000-05:00

This is the first spring I plant something. ‘I don’t have a green thumb…’ ‘I don’t have the time or space…’ Excuses were plenty. Most of all, I was afraid of abandoning them because I didn’t think I would be staying here in Toronto long enough to look after them. But, I am still here. But, I am still here.

Now, I have four Coffees, one Orange, two Blood Oranges, one Avocado, and more than a dozen annuals growing in my indoor orchard/garden. They will hopefully help me settle down in where I am. Will they do OK indoors? Yes, they will. It will take good ten years from now to pick fruits from any of these.